Brother or Friend
by morgana07
Summary: 1-shot. Choosing has never been easy on Dean before. This time, the choice he's made is examined as he also faces worries & doubts over another choice he recently made but realizes in the end that it was never a question of choosing when he'd made that choice years earlier. *Thoughtful/protective!Dean & Concerned!Sam with a cameo by Zeke* SPOILERS for 09x03 I'm No Angel!


**Brother or Friend**

**Summary:**_1-shot. Choosing has never been easy on Dean before. This time, the choice he's made is examined as he also faces worries & doubts over another choice he recently made but realizes in the end that it was never a question of choosing when he'd made that choice years earlier. *Thoughtful/protective!Dean & Concerned!Sam with a cameo by Zeke* SPOILERS for 09x03 I'm No Angel!_

**Warnings: **_None really._

**Spoilers: **_Yes, some though I've tried to keep them minor there are a few that may spoil the episode if you haven't seen it._

**Tags: **_09x03 I'm No Angel._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything. This is written for fun and enjoyment._

**Author Note: **_I debated on doing a tag for this episode since I do know how some fans have reacted to Dean's choices but in the end the plot bunny, the muse and Dean won out and this one was written._

**SPN SPN SPN SPN**

"Why did Cas leave? Didn't he know he'd be safer in the bunker than he is out there with nearly every angel that fell after him?"

The questions were still going through Dean Winchester's head nearly five hours after his younger brother had asked them.

The elder Winchester had mumbled some reply before managing to change the subject off of why the former Angel had left the relative safety of their new home and he had just hoped Sam was still recovering from being tossed around by the rouge Reaper to question things too much right then.

Now as Dean walked between the bedrooms and the library he thought back to earlier that day when he'd made a choice he never thought he ever would be asked to make.

Ever since Castiel had pulled him out of the Pits of Hell five years earlier he'd been an ally to the brothers even though Dean still held some reservations about a few doubtful choices made.

Dean accepted recently that he'd allowed a lot of Castiel's earlier words and advice to cloud his judgment when it came to Sam's own choices back before the release of Lucifer and if he hadn't allowed Angels, any of them, to put so much doubt out there than perhaps a lot of what happened wouldn't have.

He also accepted that it might have looked to Sam like he'd chosen Castiel over Sam more than a few times and the hunter had to wonder how much of that had been his choice or the interference of Heaven's own.

Dean hadn't really considered how many times he had chosen Cas over Sam until his brother, broken in body as well as spirit, had confessed his greatest sin in that Church and before Dean nearly lost his little brother again.

Since realizing what his life would be as a hunter Dean had made a lot of choices he knew hadn't been wise and had come to regret but the last two were ones that he knew he couldn't regret or change.

Allowing Ezekial, the Angel who had come in answer to his prayer back at the hospital, to possess Sam in order to save his brother might come back to bite him in the ass the moment his little brother learns of the Angel's existence but Dean refused to regret the choice because he hadn't been ready to let Sam die.

Losing Sam, letting his little brother die, just was not something that had been hardwired into Dean's system. He'd sold his soul and gone to Purgatory to keep Sam safe. Allowing a hurt Angel to secretly possess Sam in order to both heal himself and Sam was just another thing the hunter would mark down on his list of 'things done to protect Sammy'.

The other choice was a bit harder to handle but also one that Dean wouldn't allow himself to regret because if it came down to choosing between Sam and Castiel then the coin would always land in his brother's favor.

Sam might think Dean had chosen Castiel and even Benny over him and perhaps in some way Dean had a few times but this was one time that Dean meant to keep the damn promise he made his brother back in the church.

When he'd told Sam that nothing or no one would ever be put above him he'd meant that then and he still did. True, Castiel as a human was a walking magnet for trouble because no matter how long he'd been around the Winchesters the now human former Angel was like a child and Dean still planned to keep an eye on him when possible but he had to do what he'd done.

He wasn't sure exactly why Zeke was so adamant that Cas couldn't stay there but when the Angel had declared that if Cas stayed then he'd be forced to leave the choice was made for Dean even before he realized it.

Sam was still hurt too badly to risk the Angel leaving his body yet and so Dean had faced those solemn dark eyes to explain to Cas that he couldn't stay with them any longer and then faced down another set of hazel puppy dog eyes when Sam had questioned the choice.

Lying to either wasn't easy and Dean knew if Sam was one hundred and ten percent healthy and not playing off the Angelic essence boosting him up that he'd have seen through the lie.

He also knew it wouldn't be much longer before his too alert sibling began to question other things but it was hard for Dean to handle the back and forth conversations when Sam was Sam or when Zeke was Sam.

That night Dean wasn't sure if it was getting tossed or the power Zeke used to heal Cas but Sam had been quieter and gone to bed earlier than he had been since waking up from what happened to him and that worried him a lot.

It also worried Dean that Sam doubted his excuse for why Cas chose to leave and knew he needed to tell his brother something else that would make sense but also wouldn't cause Sam to doubt or worry.

"I am sorry you had to choose between Castiel and Sam."

The voice was still Sam's but the more stilted, slightly heavier tone was anything but and still managed to creep Dean out, especially when he wasn't expecting to hear it.

"I won't choose anyone over Sammy ever again so that's not an issue here," the hunter turned to lean in Sam's door to see his brother sitting up on the side of the bed but the glowing blue eyes told him for certain who he was speaking to. "I just wish you'd give me a better reason for not wanting Cas here because I'm a suspicious guy and if you start acting weird it's going to make me worry all the more for letting you into Sammy."

"You still think I'm…the bad guy?" Ezekiel cocked his head in a way that Dean had noticed him doing when curious. "True, I am using Sam in a way while I heal but he is also healing. I protected him from those demons and did help you find Castiel. Why do you still assume I'm evil?"

"It's the hunter in me that's used to being screwed over. Nothing personal," Dean shrugged, stepping into his brother's room to notice that slowly Sam did seem to be adding little touches but as he looked closer it was hard not to show the emotion that wanted to come.

Little pictures littered the mirror over the dresser but they were all of the two of them or them with Bobby and mostly when they'd been younger. The few trinkets that had been placed around were things that Dean had given Sam years ago and were things that Dean also had thought had been lost between Sam's leaving for college and the fire at Stanford.

"You are his biggest reason for living, Dean," Ezekiel remarked upon noticing where the hunter's attention had gone. "I know you said that you don't do the whole love thing or however you phrased it but I have come to understand through Sam's thoughts that you actually do love…in your own way."

"Zeke," Dean began warningly, not in the mood to have a possible chick flick moment with an Angel when he knew he'd probably have to have one eventually with Sam.

Moving a hand around the room to point out things that Sam had slowly been placing, Ezekiel looked back at Dean calmly. "These things you've seen are just a small amount of mementoes that Sam has kept. He chose the ones that remind him of his life with you to place out in this place. He loves you and seeks ways to show you that without risking one of your 'no chick flick moments' lectures.

"Just like the little calming touches you are prone to giving him, or how you hover over him or cook actual things you know he enjoys eating or letting him pick the music when you drive are ways you show love to him without speaking it," the Angel in Sam noticed the slight change in the human's face but let it go.

"Yes, I came to your aid in the hospital because before this is over I may need to call upon your aid but I assure you, Dean, if or when I do it will only be for something that will benefit you and your brother. I mean neither Sam nor you harm and will do what I can for you both but you must understand the limits I have.

"True, this place is shielded but Bartholomew is a powerful Angel even down here. He is amassing a force of Angels that do not have the welfare of mankind in mind and like many of my kind feel you and Sam are as big a threat as Castiel. I cannot defend against a force like that in Sam's body without burning him out and that is why I could not take the risk of them tracking Castiel here," Ezekiel frowned slightly. "I know you feel honor bound to him and I know he is the one who rescued you from the Pit. I am sorry that you had to choose…"

Sighing, Dean ran a finger over the desk before sitting on the bottom of the bed. "Yeah, Cas pulled my ass outta the Pit and yeah, I might still feel I owe him for that but…Sammy's…there is no choice because no one replaces my little heart in my heart. Just promise me you aren't a wolf in sheep's clothing or…something worse."

The head cocked again as if the Angel was mulling over the strange term when it must have dawned on him what Dean was saying. "Ah, you're worried that I'm Lucifer. Yes, I can see where that fear would concern you given Heavens fall but I can assure you that both Lucifer and Michael are locked in the Cage. That was always a topic in the Garrison as several Angels wished either one or both could be freed.

"Plus, if I was Lucifer you already would've known it since we also heard rumors that the great Deceiver did not care for you in the least and not only because you were Michael's true vessel," Ezekiel smiled a bit more as he gazed into the wary green eyes of the mortal next to him. "Pray neither escape the Cage, Dean. You would be the first to feel their wrath and I fear not even my meager power would be enough to protect you then."

Still leery but having no choice but to believe in the Angel he was trusting his brother's life to, Dean nodded. "Fine, now can you take a step back so Sam can wake up a minute?" that was still the weirdest part for him and one he hoped he never got used to.

"Yes, but just so you know the stronger Sam becomes the less I'll be able to take control during his waking hours," Ezekiel replied, laying down to close his eyes.

"That's the day I'm waiting for," Dean muttered since he knew that when his brother was that stronger the sooner it would be for the Angel to leave him. "Sammy?"

Dean watched the change come over Sam. His brother went from tense and rigid to relaxed, but woke with a jerk, sitting up with a gasp and only a strong hand on his shoulder seemed to calm him down. "Easy, little brother," he urged quietly.

"Dean?" Sam looked around quickly, a little surprised to see his brother sitting beside him. "What…what happened?" he asked, feeling oddly confused. "Why're you…"

"Oh, I was going back to my room from the kitchen when I heard you making some odd sounds and thought something was wrong," Dean replied easily, then shrugged. "Sorry I woke you up."

Shaking his head, Sam's hand shot out to grab for the retreating wrist. "No, it's fine," he assured his brother, sitting up to run shaking fingers through his hair. "Just a little worried about Cas and everything that's going on I guess."

Wondering if it was that or if Sam was starting to feel the slight presence of Zeke in the background of his mind Dean didn't comment on the tight grip Sam had on his wrist because he knew there were still times when his brother needed touch to calm him down or reassure him.

"It's about Cas I wanted to talk to you about," he began slowly, hating all the lies that seemed to be second nature to him but needing to make a choice to lie or risk Sam's health. "The reason I gave you to why he left is a bit more complicated than I tried to make it seem."

"What? The whole 'the world is one big burrito to be found and explored' line wasn't complicated or scary enough?" Sam's smile was honest and amused. "I figured you were trying to bury the real reason because you were worried that the hit I took might have set me back some but…aside from a little headache I still feel good, Dean," he assured his worried sibling. "Why did Cas really leave?"

"I…asked him to," Dean admitted heavily, going on quickly even as both eyebrows started to crawl back on Sam's forehead. "Look, I know you may get pissed off and maybe it wasn't a good idea but…we don't know how powerful this other Angel is or how strong the bubble around this place is and…if a single Reaper could find Cas and kick our asses imagine what a horde of pissed off winged warriors could do."

Sam's eyes were blinking rapidly as if trying to decide how hard Dean had been hit in the head. "Yeah, all the more reason to keep Cas with us," he tried to argue but stopped at the feel of firm fingers gripping his wrist, realizing Dean's eyes were serious as they met his own.

"Sammy, neither one of us are in the Top Five of Heaven's favorite people. We not only stopped the Apocalypse but locked up Lucifer and Michael so I'm sure if this guy who's rallying the Angels is power hungry enough and he could he'd like nothing more than to see our heads on a pike…especially yours," he gripped Sam's wrist tighter as he went on with something that wasn't far from the truth as Dean saw it. "I'm not risking a bunch of Angels managing to get past the bunker's bubble to nail you.

"So if that meant choosing between letting Cas go on his own and protecting what's mine then that's what I did," Dean forced a tight smile while seeing huge hazel eyes go wider. "I said nothing would ever go above you and that includes Cas."

"But he's your friend," Sam argued softly, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak.

"And you're my little brother," Dean countered, giving himself a silent sigh before pulling Sam forward for a brief but hard hug. "Pain in the ass baby brother tops pain in the ass friend every time," he added as he eased back after giving Sam enough time to cover the emotions he could feel wracking his brother's body. "Besides, he's got a fake credit card, a cell phone, our numbers and his 'protection'. He's set."

Sam chuckled, still a little wary about the ex-Angel being on his own but knew if Dean was willing to accept than he would to for the moment. "Alright, but just so long as we can check in on him every once in a while," he yawned, smirking a little as he felt a hand nudging his shoulder until he was laying back down.

"Yeah, we can and I will," Dean assured him, standing to pull the covers back up and carding his fingers back through Sam's hair on instinct. "Get some sleep?"

Nodding, Sam felt more at ease now and knew sleep would come back to him quickly but looked up as Dean reached the door. "Dean? Thanks for…you know…everything."

"That's what awesome big brothers are for, Sammy," Dean smiled, easing the door almost all the way shut so he could hear in case Sam did wake up as he stepped into his own room to lay down with a groan.

He'd made the choice between brother and friend and he might not regret it but that also didn't mean the hunter wouldn't continue to worry about either of them.

"And I thought Zachariah was the biggest pain in the ass Heaven could drop on me," he muttered sourly, not sure who was worse; the new guy mounting an army or the sweater wearing nutcase who caused this mess. "I so hate Angels."

Dean fell to sleep with restless dreams of what else could go wrong and things he prayed didn't as he worked to fix both his and Sam's problems as well as Heavens own issues, wondering when the day would come when it would just be the simple Wendigo hunts again.

**The End**

**A/NII: **_I do hope you enjoyed this even if some readers might not agree with Dean's choice. I'm on Facebook under morgana07 for story updates or questions or just to chat._


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